Historically, I have found it difficult to transition from meeting a person, or being friends with them, to a situation where romance is a possibility.  I wrote a post about that.  So, from about grad school forward, I have tip-toe’d into the sphere of online dating.

On the face of it, it appears to be a wonderful way to both meet new people and to find romantic connections in a world where everyone is (theoretically) open to such romance.  However, I have found two problems from my perspective.  One, the line at how much to tell people up front is very fuzzy for me – I have definitely found in trying to communicate with people that I shut them out if I go on and on and on about myself and why I’d be an awesome match for them.  This applies to setting up a profile, too, because that’s your first foot forward.

The second, and more insidious, problem I have with online dating is that I have a mental block against going after lots of potentials at once.  I want to focus on one at a time, because (1) I feel better focused that way, and it matters to me to be as good as I can be at the first impression and the early communication, and (2) I feel really bad when I feel like I am leading on girl #2 because I am “more interested” in girl #1.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  I understand this is mostly irrational (projecting my own standards and beliefs onto others) but it is a surprising tenacious conception to try and shed.  This is a problem because the “correct” way to use online dating sites is to meet lots of people and sift down until the right match emerges.  I know this, but executing on that plan is pretty difficult for me.

The reason I am bringing this up is that I resolved to get myself back into trying to meet more people online via such online dating stuff, but when I went to create a new profile on a new site, I ran into the problems above.  I’m going to tackle it again tonight, and probably logic-force myself into completing it (not the best method, but effective!)